evil-3d.com -- the true story

You have been waiting in the Void for the chance to save your master, Lucifer, from the clutches of those horrid Good Angels up there in Heaven.

You awaken from your long dreamless sleep into this dream of reality; you find yourself standing in some sort of wizard's den.

The door awaits you. Striding past the smoking, bubbling cauldron in the center of the chamber, you pass through the portal into the nightmare world of goodness, love and mercy.

Hardly able to choke back your utter disgust at the sheer majesty of creation, you make your way slowly through the Second and Third Portals of the Clear Light and finally, burst forth into pain and agony as you wade through a pile of corpses you just made in this cleaner, lighter space called Heaven.

The cool, pleasant atmosphere chills you to your thoroughly evil bones, and the mixed aromas of freshly mown grass and cow dung assail your equally evil nostrils.

You vow to have your revenge for the suffering you're going to have to go through just to eat in a local restaurant, let alone kill a few thousand good guys.

Your quest to save evil from good begins at home -- which, in your case, means Hell.

From there, things can only get worse; as you draw closer to your final destination, Heaven, the stench of goodness drives you almost insane. Not a long trip in your case.